closeenough
This page is a transcript for Cool Moms.


Cold Open

(Emily is talking to another mom outside Chamomile Elementary)

Mom: Emily, we have to get the girls together again. I loved our ninety minute conversation on homework technique and containers!

(The mom walks off as Emily waves)

Emily: Can't wait! Kill me now.

(Mr. Campbell walks up to her)

Mr. Campbell: Uh oh, trouble in mommy-dise?

Emily: Whenever Candice plays with a kid, I gotta hang out with their lame-ass mom.

Mr. Campbell: Oh my god, okay. You gotta find a new crew.

(We see the LLB moms)

You got your LLB moms - snooze fest.

(We see the single moms, all raggedy. One is on fire)

Mr. Campbell: The single moms.

Emily: Should someone help that woman?

Mr. Campbell: No-one can help her. And over there we have...

Emily: (gasps) The cool moms...

(We see the Cool Moms chilling on a bench. Another mom pulls up to them on a motorbike with her kid)

Mr. Campbell: The coolest moms around. And their kids are top of the class.

Emily: Really?

Mr. Campbell: Oh yeah, I give them A's so they'll like me. I'm so stupid, whatever.

Emily: You know what? We're all adults, I'm just gonna walk up to them and say something cool like "Hey".

(Emily walks up to the cool moms)

Jojo: So that's how I gave Michael Douglas throat cancer.

(The cool moms laugh)

Zola: Jojo, you're the best.

(The cool moms all turn to look at Emily)

Emily: Hey...................

(Emily freezes while saying "hey". Mr. Campbell comes over to take her away from them)

Mr. Campbell: I'm so sorry, she's a rescue. (laughs)

(Mr. Campbell takes Emily back to their previous spot)

Mr. Campbell: That's the thirstiest "hey" I've ever heard.

(Jojo walks up to them)

Mr. Campbell: Why is she? Oh my god, okay. She's coming, she's coming. How do I look? Is the bun fine?

Jojo: Hey.

Emily: Hey...sup?

Jojo: Our kids are really getting along.

(Mia is playing with Candice and lights a firework from her hand)

Jojo: Play date, 4, your house.

Emily: Yes.

Mr. Campbell: I'll bring a grape bottle of Shiraz, cool?

(Jojo walks off)

Jojo: Heh, no plus-ones.

Mr. Campbell: No, I'm cool. My iCal's totally full, love you guys!

Main Episode

TBA